1. What’s your favorite word?
Chagrin. As in, “Much to my chagrin, something something baseball.”
2. What’s more important in a good friendship; sarcasm or sympathy?
Whiskey. Or vodka. Or hugs. Man, tough question. Can I phone a friend? NEIL. NEIL. Hey. Neil. What’s your favorite: whiskey, vodka, or hugs? Uh huh. Yeah. That’s a good point.
3. Always have the last word or keep them guessing?
I like to keep people guessing what the hell I’m doing with my life. Same as me.
4. Bad publicity or no publicity?
This past weekend a friend took two videos of me stripping. I’m choose no publicity because it would all be bad.
5. The best way to make a crying person laugh?
Say, “Hey. It could be a lot worse. You could be the one listening to you cry.” Then, I don’t know, a card trick or something?
6. The best way to make a laughing person cry?
Punch them in the stomach. Tell them you have cancer. Bring up how everybody talks behind their back. Their body odor is so bad you puke. Christ. This question is a downer. You could just ask them this question and let their mind wander for a couple minutes.
7. The best pick-up line which hasn’t worked?
“Hey, my name is drink can I buy you a Cam—FUCK.” Then walk away.
8. The worst pick-up line which has worked?
I don’t understand. They can work?
9. Most often used comeback?
“You’re not my supervisor!” Never relevant and always confusing.
10. Personal favorite Banters’ post?